Friday, November 6, 2015

what to write

Recently, a friend of mine who has been have a bit of hard time lately, said she had gone back through my old posts and was loving my writing all over again. It made me so happy and warm and fuzzy. Not only that something I had written was making her feel slightly better about life, but just also more generally that someone (other than my parents - because they have to) enjoys something that I have created.

And so I told her that I would try and write semi-regularly again. Because it makes her happy and it makes me happy that she's happy and just because it feels great. But it's really hard to think of things to write about when I'm not travelling to new places and hanging out with strangers every day, like when I was overseas. I think also I was younger and found everything a lot more interesting than I do now. Having said that, quite a lot has changed in my life since I last posted, and many of them I could probably write at length about. I'm going to do a grab bag of brief run downs to get up to speed and then maybe I'll be back in the swing of things of writing instead of just posting links to songs that are stuck in my head.

I moved out
I think this was the last goal I had since coming home from London (the others were growing out my modern day mullet, or undercut, and buying a bike). I live in an adorable Mount Lawley house with wooden floor boards and high ceilings and its exactly what I imagined my first Perth rental to be like. I live with Erin which is amazing because she's one of my favourite people ever. She cooks delicious food and loves it when I eat the left overs, she buys beautiful flowers to decorate the house and coffee and donuts on her way home from uni, she listens to me bitch and vent as much I need to and when she has a bad day I make her laugh by draping myself across her bed and model my Gorman apron for her. We found our third housemate, Charline on Facebook. Charline is German and strangely doesn't seem to understand recycling, but she's lazy and gross like us. We all like eating fancy cheese and drinking wine on the verandah and going to bed at 9pm. We can walk to Northbridge and I ride my bike to work in 8 minutes. I hardly ever have to deal with the traffic on the freeway anymore and I have developed a sudden love affair with house plants. I'm happier and feel so much more like myself.

I got another job
I work at Gordon St Garage as barista and I am 100% replaceable which is really refreshing, in a way. It was stressful and horrible at first, and getting up at 5am was very unpleasant, but I'm used to it all now and have worked out what is expected of me and how to do it. I'm friends with the people I work with which is probably the most important thing. I think I'd forgotten how good it is to work with others in a team while I was at MANY. I really did go a bit insane there. Its busy and hard work at Gordon St but its so much more satisfying compared to standing around thinking about all the mistakes I've ever made like I did all day, every day at MANY. There's always drama or politics happening but you can't work with other people and avoid that. And I'm not going to lie, I love politics and gossip anyway. I started about five months ago and Fringe applications have just opened. I'm considering applying again even though I seem to have developed a pattern of working at Fringe and then realising I actually hate my current job and rage quitting in a fit of emotional distress. I wonder if that will happen again or if I have finally learnt to balance both worlds. Maybe third time's a charm?

I'm an aunty
My sister had a baby, Gabriella Adele, and she is so fucking cute. Steph sends me photos of her chubby adorable face and I melt every time. They came and visited a few weekends ago and I got so much adorable baby time. There's something incredible about making a baby smile or laugh and feeling like the greatest person ever when they look you in the eye. But also I guess I'm 25 and my ovaries are probably telling me to get a move on. Eugh. Interestingly I got a surprise period the day after they went back to Darwin. I wonder if it was my body arguing over wanting a baby, feeling clucky and loved up and then my brain saying NO YOU ARE NOT READY TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER HUMAN, ON THE OFF CHANCE YOU ARE HAVING SEX ATM, YOUR UTERUS LINING IS GOING TO SHED FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL OF US. Ovaries are weird.

I'm back (still?) at uni. I go through phases of hating it and thinking psychology is a huge waste of my time and HECS debt, wishing I was doing something creative, or anything else and sometimes I get super motivated and love it. So I don't know. I'm part time, so I have another year til I finish fourth year and I could change my mind a million more times before then. If I do pursue psychology, I think I'll do a DipEd and major as a school psychologist rather than promising my first born child to get in to Masters.  Or maybe I'll just do Fine Arts and be a weirdo art student.

I think that's all I've got for now. I'll start working on some ideas for more semi-regular posts. Or you know, I'll just continue to re-watch Broad City. The other day I saw a post on the gram that Amy Poehler and Carrie Brownstein officiated someone's wedding and I thought FUCK that would be so cool. But what if Ilana and Abbi officiated your wedding!? SWOON.